So much has happened in the last few months. Months of memories we haven't been able to share with you. Christmas was the first of many dates we would spend without you there. That christmas was the hardest. Mum wore her paper christmas hat from the cracker all day just like you used to and she made the crackers you used to laugh at her about!! =) They were pretty good crackers!!
I wish you had been there for my 21st birthday. It was an amazing day but I was still sad that you were not there to see me turn 21 (even if I wasn't down in Southend with you lot). Me and Scott got engaged the day before my 21st. Scott was all romantic, and you would know that when you first met him, he doesn't seem very romantic , but he was and it really was the most amazing moment of my life!!! <3
Remember when you last saw me, I didn't have a job. Well in March this year I got myself a full time job in a contact centre and I'm still there 3 months later and still enjoying it!!! We are all incredibly shocked that I am still at a job that I enjoy!!!
I speak to Nan on the phone quite a bit now. She makes me laugh with the things she says to me. I miss speaking to her on the phone and hearing you talking in the background and laughing. I still expect to hear you when she rings me. She doesn't really speak about you on the phone to me so I try not to mention anything, just in case it upsets her.
It's been nearly 7 months since you got taken away from us and I still can't believe that I'm never going to see you again. To hear your voice or see you smile or laugh. I still cry when I think about you or remember something that we all used to do together; even if i see something on the telly that reminds me of you.
This year is going to be the hardest as it is the first year that we will be celebrating/doing things without you with us for the first time and we're all going to struggle but we know that you're looking down on us, keeping us safe.
If I had one wish it would be to bring you back, but I know that isn't going to happen. I wish I had the chance to see you one last time, to say goodbye but I know that you weren't able to stay with us and that you had to go. Even though I wont see you again, I have all my memories of the moments we shared together and all the photographs we have. Those will never go away and they will be with me forever.
I'm going to finish this letter now. I miss you so much Grandad, more and more everyday.
You really were the most amazing grandad anyone could wish for and I love you.
Thinking of you everyday. Lots of Love.