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Sunday, 10 April 2011

Two Faced...

I don't know whether this is going to be boring or interesting to anyone who reads it, but this is how some people can be two faced.  Not towards me, but towards my fiance.
Now me and Scott have been together now for over 2 years, and as I said in my last blog; yeah we have our ups and downs but I wouldn't change anything for the world.  But there is one person who still doesn't seem to accept that we are together, and that person is my mum.
The first time my mum met Scott was after I had moved in with him and we came back down to Shoebury to collect some more of my stuff.  She tried to make it as difficult as she  could; arguing with him because he had told me it was up to me if I wanted to take the TV from my old bedroom- my mum didn't want me to because Scott would be using it as well and it was a present to me!! Lol.  In the end we had to call my dad tocome round to speak to my mum and make her understand that I was growing up, and moving in with Scott was part of that.  She hated what he was telling her as she knew he was right.
That was in the Spring of 2009.  In the Winter of 2009 when we travelled down to my mums to spend an early Christmas with them she was still no different.  Yeah, she spoke to him but you could tell she just wasn't interested.  
That Christmas 2009 was the first christmas I spent away from my family, as Christmas day I was in Rotherham spending it with Scott's family.  The first christmas I had had when I wasn't being told off for doing something!!!
We had planned on spending Christmas day in 2010 with my family as we had spent it with Scott's the year before.  Only fair, we agreed.  It was going to be a difficult Christmas that year as in November 2010 I lost my Grandad and it would be the first one without him there to ease the tension like he always did! 
Things got off to a great start actually.  My mum made conversation with Scott and listened etc and was even laughing with him.  I thought everything was going to be great.  We spent a week with them and spent everyday at my mum's house.  It was almost like my mum was finally treating Scott as one of the family.
We travelled back to Sheffield, happy and loaded up with lots of presents =) and were so pleased my mum had made an effort.  That was until a month passed and I told her Scott had proposed....

27th January 2011. 06:30pm
Scott proposed to me the day before my 21st birthday.  I was ecstatic and thought nothing could ruin my mood.  I rang up everyone I knew bursting to tell them the news.  I always knew that if someone proposed to me, my mum would be the first person I told so obviously that was who I called first!! Well, I wish I hadn't and had just let her find out on facebook for the reaction I got.
Here's how the phone call kind of went:
"Mum, it's me! Scott gave me my birthday present early and he PROPOSED!"
"Oh. Congratulations. Did you get a ring? You're not getting married yet though are you, there's no need."
=\ Well lets just say that wasn't the reaction I had hoped for.  Looks like she still held a grudge.  Great.

Turns out I was right.  A few weeks later we were talking on facebook chat and I mentioned that we had seen a place we'd like to get married (we plan on getting married in 2014/2015) and she laughed at me and told me it was a bit soon to plan and i needed a job first to get money (i was unemployed).  I asked her why she seemed to hold a grudge against him and I got the answers I never wanted to hear.
- He's not right for you.
- He's not the type I'd go for you.
- He seems clingy.  He doesn't leave you alone (he would have and he did but I refused to let him leave me alone with her because of our past)
I'm sure there were more things she said, but they're the ones that stick with me.

She has shown me exactly what she is like for holding a grudge.  And this grudge is all because me and Scott met online  and for the way I left home.
I wish sometimes that my mum would just put this grudge behind her and get to know Scott properly like the rest of my family have done, but I guess that isn't going to happen.

If any of you have problems with your parent(s) not liking your partner or the other way round, don't let it get to you.  We haven't and we're stronger than ever.  We only need to know that we love each other; if someone doesn't like you and can't make a real genuine effort instead of being two faced then they're not worth getting upset about.

*Christmas 2010*

1 comment:

  1. i know exactly what you mean my mums the same with my fiance its so unfair the way the way she treats him but i know our relationship is strong as we have been together 5 years and when my man proposed in march 2010 my mum didnt even say congratulations or get us a card, well done on standing by your man :) .. i live in southend btw lol i moved down here 2002 but originally come from cambridge so again i know how you feel moving in with your other half away from where you grew up! i wish the best for you two xx